Someone told me before that for one to be able to move on (on whatever scenario would that be), a closure is necessary. Yes, that was the word used - necessary. Of course, the conceited me will not easily give in to such "crappy" suggestion. Pardon my word but that' s how I reacted to it the first time I heard.
Not until last weekend.
Last week, for the first time in my life, I felt I needed to be somewhere else alone. Not that I have not travelled alone yet, but most of them were work trips. So I am kinda used of being a solo traveller. In other words, soloista! Hahaha, parang sa choir! Anyway, last Wednesday, I felt the need for one and quickly went to the Budget Airlines Websites from my list of FAVORITES on my ever-friendly Internet Explorer. I wanted to go to a place I have never been (and there's still a lot of them out there) at the cheapest cost. To cut the story short, I booked a roundtrip ticket for 3 days in Phuket, Thailand.
There, I did nothing but eat, sleep, massage, drink, eat, sleep. I brought my camera but I took only 4 pics (all of them rejects when i opened them in my PC). Did not do any of the touristy stuff (except if you consider the massage as one). Just did some soul-searching and I think I did find it. Met few solitary souls along the way, but that would be another story altogether.
I don't know if this is even worth writing, but I think it was a monumental step for me. I called my ex-hunny the moment I came back from Thailand and asked her that we have a talk. And so we did. It was a very emotional moment for both of us but we were able to clear things up. Ang hirap pala ng ganun, we confessed that we still love each other but we decided that it is best for both of us to just be apart. But at least now, we can now clearly draw the line and stand where we both should be standing. No more gray areas. It's clear as the yellow lines in the smoking area, or the red lines in the bus lanes. I'm on this side, she's on the other side.
That's a closure, and now we can both move on.
I feel great now, and lousy at the same time.
Sigh....
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No day but today! - from Rent
